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When Someone Says, "It's Alright For You"

By Susan Leigh

How many of us have had the expression, 'it's alright for you' directed at us? Whether uttered verbally or implied through a look or a sneer, the sense that we're somehow blessed with super-special advantages can be galling.

It may be perceived as 'alright' for us because we've a partner and are supported through having an ally in our corner, or conversely because we're single and so have lots of free time, no responsibilities and are unencumbered. Or we may be seen as having good fortune because we're intelligent, motivated, financially okay - they've decided we're especially gifted in some way. Whatever our story, we're seen as 'lucky'.
But being deemed as 'alright' doesn't give recognition or acknowledgement to the drive, determination and sacrifices that have gone into achieving those results. It's inferred that, through being blessed in some way, we've miraculously been given this good fortune and great rewards.

Many years ago the champion golfer, Jack Nicklaus was asked how he felt to have been so lucky in his career. His response was that the more he practiced the luckier he got! Life for most of us involves focus, sacrifices, commitment and a smattering of luck or opportunities. A person with the right approach and mindset sees doors opening and is inspired by them.
And when we're working towards a goal with determination and focus it's not uncommon for things important to our success to come together. A positive outlook will often see beyond any challenges or difficulties, treat them as stepping-stones along the way. It will be undeterred by negative comments or potential setbacks, so working with a glass half-full not half-empty mindset.
Being 'alright' means treating disappointment or rejection as simply lessons en route to success. And lessons often provide interesting detours, bringing unexpected insights and experiences into our life. They can introduce us to new people, provide the opportunity to be inspired by others, maybe encourage alliances, bring unexpected new directions for us to consider.

For some people looking at others as being more energetic, gifted or fortunate than they, can be a way of letting themselves off the hook - they don't need to try because they haven't the time or things wouldn't work out well for them. Whilst we're not all the same we do have the potential to stretch ourselves a little and find ways to take a chance to improve and benefit ourselves.

I recall a client coming to see me, super-excited that he'd made a phone call and persevered with that call, staying on the line whilst he was transferred to several different departments, finally resolving his issues. That for him was a massive achievement as he usually passed problems like that onto his wife. It was 'alright' for her because she was confident and patient enough to deal with those matters! He was so proud of himself as he learned that he too could do it.
Does that sound a little like you or someone you know? Why not stop and question your reasons for thinking or feeling that way. Do you find dealing with problems stressful, do you find making an effort, stepping outside your comfort zone daunting, are you afraid of failure, of being seen as less than competent or perfect?

The problem with staying inside our comfort zone is that it gradually becomes smaller over time. To change that attitude start by practising having a go at something new every day. It might be something as simple as travelling another route to work, ordering something else for lunch, buying a different newspaper, striking up a conversation with someone in the lift. Adopting a more flexible, relaxed approach can open up a whole new receptivity to the potential around us, making things alright for us too! Your success may be different from someone else's, but it's still a great result.

And if you do decide to stay as you are, are happy with your situation and with where you are, own it and say so. Find the courage to nurture your self-belief. Celebrate your good fortune in being as fulfilled as you are at the moment, but also appreciate those who aim to push themselves and strive for more.

Susan Leigh is a long established counsellor, hypnotherapist, writer and media contributor who works with clients to help with relationship conflict, stress management, assertiveness and confidence issues. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.
She's author of 3 books, 'Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact', '101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday' and 'Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain', all with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life.
To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit

Hi! I research topics such as self-development achievement and mental health. I have a passion to use my life experiences and research to help others reach their full potential.